birther blitz

if any publicity is good publicity, then this week was an unabashed (though admittedly unrequited) love fest for our attention-starved birther buddies:

obama press secretary robert gibbs, press briefing, c-span (7/13):

keith olbermann, countdown, msnbc (7/14):

keith olbermann, countdown, msnbc (7/15):

brett baier, political grapevine, fox (7/17)

kitty pilgrim, lou dobbs tonight, cnn (7/17):

certifigate: birfer calculus

as americans from sea to shining sea celebrated their biggest political holiday of the year, the kenyan usurper was dealt his biggest challenge yet — multiple SuperAmericanGrandJury Presentments for multiple counts of fraud and treason handed down by a "world record" 172 dedicated patriots and defenders of the constitution, hand-delivered to the white house, the supreme court, the pentagon, the fbi and secret service, and various senators and congresspersons. it sure sounds like the marxist paradise's starting to get a little more complicated for the usurper-in-chief.

to be honest, it's starting to get a little complicated for any ordinary (but nonetheless natural born) citizens who can be forgiven for not following all the excitement during their holiday. so, in order to help precisely evaluate the real world value of these presentments and fully appreciate the ongoing impact of the still thriving birther movement, we're going to have to break out our trusty certificalculus primer and slide rule. take it away, albert:

1) birfer coefficient

a vast relativistic multiplier (like c² in einstein's famous matter/energy conversion formula e = mc²) that determines the imaginary birfer value of any real world quantity, effect, probability or process. while applied most often to the number of birthers that may exist at any point in space-time, the birfer coefficient ("bc") is also applied to the significance, likelihood or effect of any birfer event or the speed at which a birfer process operates or is expected to result in success.

real world values x birfer coefficient ("bc") and their resulting birfer equivalents:

1. one birther and his sock puppet x bc = millions of americans;

   eg: "millions of americans want barack obama to prove he's constitutionally qualified to be president."

2. "pro bono" x bc = millions of dollars;

   eg: "why else would anyone hire lawyers and expend millions of dollars to avoid producing a $12.50 birth certificate"

3. one lost election x bc = constitutional crisis of biblical proportions;

   eg: "this is now 6 months into a constitutional crisis of biblical proportions"

4. 0.00% probability x bc = certainty, victory, inevitability;

   eg: "sooner or later some court or many courts will formally indict obama from our presentments or [a] complaint"

2) birfer value

the vastly inflated imaginary value or significance ("bv") produced by multiplying any real world quantity, effect, probability or process by the birfer coefficient.

more birfer values ("bv") and their real world equivalents:

1. grand jury (bv) = a chat room, forum or twitter session;

   super jury (bv) = a chat room, forum or twitter session with more than 30 members;

   eg: "the constitution of the united states, as interpreted by the supreme court, gives rise to a FOURTH BRANCH of government, THE GRAND JURY. we the people have been charged with oversight of the government in our roles as grand jurors."

   eg: "the super jury is part of the NEW american revolution and the patriot’s goal is that of taking back america."

2. indictment or presentment (bv) = a chain letter or spam;

   eg: "we know it is going to take many more Grand Juries and possibly 100's of filings to get the job done. sooner or later the court system is going to be inundated with "presentments" against obama."

3) birfer event

an event or action having only imaginary or purely symbolic effect or significance, which after application of the birfer coefficient can be celebrated as an accomplishment or milestone or victory.

birfer events ("be") and their real world equivalents:

1. indict (be) = hold breath, stamp feet and point at;

   eg: "super jury INDICTS barack obama on the birthday of our country"

2. serve (be) indictment or presentment = drop off with bemused receptionist;

   eg: "carl swensson and mack ellis served the 11-page Presentments to president barack obama, at the white house for FRAUD and TREASON."

4) birfer process

any sequence of birfer events which, by virtue of their imaginary or purely symbolic effect or significance, shows only imaginary progress. application of the birfer coefficient gives participants in a birfer process the relativistic perception of real work, accomplishment or success.

eg: "172 grand jury members worked night and day for 10 days in session to hand down the presentments against our arrogant usurper."

eg: "officer TOOK PRESENTMENTS, FIXED A LABEL IN OUR RECEIPT AREA WHICH HE EXPLAINED TO ME WAS THEIR SIGNATURE; HAD SUPREME COURT AND DATE AND TIME STAMPED: SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES SERVED PRESENTMENTS!"

5) birfer coefficient collapse

the conversion of any imaginary birfer value into its real world equivalent. most coefficient collapses predictably occur during attempts to realize or exercise their imaginary value using real world processes or procedures.

eg: "the individuals who have made this presentment were not convened by [the U.S. COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA] to sit as a grand jury nor have they been selected at random from a fair cross section of this district.

any self-styled indictment or presentment issued by such a group has no force under the constitution or laws of the united states.

as such, leave to file this presentment is hereby DENIED.

signed by judge royce lamberth"

iokiyad*

alaska governor and former republican vice presidential political punchline nominee sarah palin abruptly flames out resigns.

while some question her wisdom:

resignation is a BIG mistake if she actually aspires to higher, national office. only three years as a governor in a very sparsely populated state will be a deal-breaker to a great number of americans, if not to all but the most ardent palin supporters.

... and others rattle her closet for skeletons:

maybe that really was her in "nailin' palin".

... others find new hope:

have heart my freeper friends....this is the best news i have heard in days......sarah is answering the call, and doing it the right way.... she will now be free to travel the country and speak to all comers....she cannot be accused of ignoring her job as govenor, which is totally fine for democrats but unacceptable to people with integrity.... have heart and say your prayers to protect sarah on her very dangerous journey.....

... which brings to mind this quite timely case in point:

---

* "it's ok if you're a democrat"

bernie's big mistake

... was not in ripping off little old ladies, children, cripples, pensions and charities. the king of the ponzi scheme supreme is not going away for decades past his dying for a white-collar crime so time-honored yet pedestrian.

no, his singular, unforgivable sin was the gravest sin of all: he ripped off his rich friends.

ny times: but in meting out the maximum sentence, judge chin pointed out that no friends, family or other supporters had submitted any letters on mr. madoff’s behalf, attesting to the strength of his character or good deeds he had done. even mr. madoff’s wife, ruth, whose own awareness of his business dealings has been a major unanswered question, issued a statement on monday distancing herself from him. ... she was not in court for the sentencing hearing.

bloomberg: the courtroom erupted in applause and shouts after chin imposed the sentence.

bloomberg: prosecutors said yesterday in their response to madoff's bail appeal that he should remain behind bars while he awaits sentencing. they said that madoff is a flight risk because he is likely to spend the rest of his life in prison, has been "shunned by the community," owns a home abroad, and has spent decades lying to clients.

newser: documents released today showed that ruth agreed to give up boats and vehicles as well as properties in manhattan, montauk,and palm beach, fla. the deal may allow her to move on after months of being shunned at manhattan establishments and crucified in the tabloids.

reuters: ruth madoff has not been charged with any crimes but she has been widely vilified by defrauded investors, shunned by people she once knew and pursued by the new york press. under the agreement she could still be liable to civil claims.

quote of the day

from gordon @ obama conspiracy theories:

i’ll tell you, in all my years in law enforcement, a black man always needed more identification then anyone else. i never thought it would extend to the POTUS!

and the shipping's free

so don't dawdle ...

this is auction is for a certified copy of president barack obama's kenyan birth certificate. president barack hussein obama II was born in the coast provincial general hospital at mombasa in kenya at 7:24 pm on august 4th 1961. i've traveled throughout the caribbean (including cuba), ibero america (i.e.,latin america), and africa. i have a bachelors in sociology, a bachelors in social sciences as well as a bachelors in afro-caribbean studies. i'm a collector of old dominican and cuban money. i've worked in the democratic republic of the congo as an advisor in the government's hydrology & rain water management administration. this spring i traveled through kenya and it's capital nairobi. i was overwhelmed by the "iconicized" face of US President barack obama that displays itself throughout the country. i had lunch at a small eatery and noticed that the club sandwich with fried plantains was now known as "obama's plate of the day." as an american i was bombarded with questions in english (english is the official language of kenya) on my feelings and opinions of a kenyan governing the united states of america. the first several times i responded in saying that not enough time had elapsed since barack Obama's appointment as President of the USA, and that I'd have to hold my official opinion until at least january 2010, a year in office might be sufficient for me to judge his ability to govern the USA. natuarally i thought that by "kenyan" they were referring to barack obama's blood, being that his father barack obama sr was a native of kenya. after a day and a half of my being in nairobi i learned that they were literally referring to president barack obama jr as being born in kenya, a native of kenya. now i started asking questions, did his father's kenyan blood somehow entitle barack jr to the equivalent of a native kenyan? no, not all, i was to find out. they were referring to barack obama jr's physical birth on kenyan soil. kenyans were amused at how gullible americans could be when it came to obvious things like the fact that kenyans overtly admit to barack jr's kenyan birth, yet the americans continue to believe that they know better. i delved further and found that a birth certificate was on file at the coast provincial general hospital at mombasa. i know several american expats that reside in kenya. i asked the three that i could reach if they were aware of president barack obama's kenyan birth. all three said that they were most obviously aware of his kenyan birth. i was shocked. they went to further say that they weren't much concerned with it, after all they'd left the US to start a new life abroad and didn't have much interest in what was taking place in the states. besides, they said, who would believe them anyway? along with my congolese brother andylenny (brother in heart, not blood) and a 1993 BMW with only one working door i was off to mombasa to get myself a copy (certified i hoped) of barack jr's birth certificate. AND THAT BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS WHAT YOU ARE BIDDING ON HERE IN THIS EBAY AUCTION, CERTIFIED BIRTH CERTIFICATE. i am not posting any photos of the birth certificate here on ebay. i have not seen this birth certificate anywhere on the internet, to post it here on ebay would lead to a flood of facsimiles on the internet. this would inadvertently decrease the value of the certificate as well. in further support of i offer the facts below: a. barack obama (or anyone) has never released a copy of his "hawaiian" birth certificate. no one has ever seen it. only a copy of his hawaiian "registry of birth" or registration of birth" has been released to the public. hey, i have a registry of birth as well (along with my birth certificate). it's funny how a registry of birth is not valid as a form of identification. it can't be used to verify age or identity. just try to use yours (yes, you have a registry of birth as well) at the DOT or DMV or even at the social security administration if you ever lose your SS card and need a replacement. NO ONE WILL ACCEPT A REGISTRY OF BIRTH. yet the president uses his to verify to all of america that he was born in the united states? and hey, you might say, "what's the deal you conspiracy freak! you're just looking for any reason discredit barack obama." well then, if it's not a big deal at all, then why can't anyone produce barack's birth certificate? b. the barack obama administration, in an attempt to put the birth certificate issue to a rest, has presented the american public with a FAKE, FORGED, FRAUDULENT hawaiian birth certificate in response to a growing number of the american public that have been demanding proof that barack was born in the us. hey, what? you say you don't believe me? just google it! jay mckinnon, a department of homeland security-trained document specialist, has implicated himself in the production of fake barack obama hawaiian birth certificate. JUST GOOGLE IT! message me with any questions that you might have regarding this auction for president barack hussein obama jr's kenyan birth certificate (certified birth certificate). i reserve the right to not answer specific questions who's answers would no doubt be wallpapered across the internet by breakfast time. i will however reply to all questions. my replies may contain specific answers, and they may not. this will be at my discretion. if the need arises i may be contacted via telephone. contact me via ebay message if you believe that your question or questions merit a phone call. international bidders are welcome. domestic shipping is free, international will be a flat fee of $75.00. all shipping will be insured, and overnight via USPS, UPS, or FEDEX. you pick. HAPPY BIDDING !!!

needless to say, since you'll be buying sight unseen, caveat emptor!

update: oh ... rats!!! the bidding apparently got up to $7,901.00, but the usurper's minions are everywhere!

falling like tenpins

congratulations, mark ... you've just handed your party another much-needed crisis in leadership. after all, it's only been a week since the last one. john ensign thanks you for the respite ...

anybody else worried that every candidate who shows up on the radar screen is put under a microscope (O’s watching!). sarah palin john ensign mark sanford republicans need to unite against “the one” just look how he wiped out hillary when he wasn’t even on the map 2 years before 2008... no, we do not need to "unite against 'the one'". we need to unite FOR a qualified, responsible, and electable candidate. that rules out palin, ensign, and sanford. democrats united FOR "the one", and that's how he got elected. "the one" did his part too, in that he didn't have his immediate family behaving like trailer trash, didn't get caught having an affair with blackmail and job favors involved, and didn't disappear without explanation while serving in the us senate.

like mark davis said yesterday on rush, if sanford doesn’t have a logical, reasonable explanation for his disappearance, he’s toast as far as a run for the presidency goes. now, if he were a democrat, the media would be celebrating his sense of independence and adventure and how he’s going to bring new ideas and energy to his role as governor of the great state of SC. he’s toast already. disappearing for a few days without letting your staff or wife know where you are or how to reach you or at least what they’re *supposed* to say about your absence, and then resurfacing several days lateer saying “what’s the big deal?” is not career-ending behavior for a pop singer or sociology professor, but it most certainly IS career-ending behavior for a state governor and would-be republican POTUS nominee. we republicans are into the personal responsibility thing.

... especially when you've made it your platform by castigating everybody else for lacking it.

republicans should not have affairs with married staff members or take mystery trips to argentina without informing wife or staff. and, they need to do a better job of pointing hypocrisy of the rich wall-street dems from goldman sachs and citigroup who are destroying this country!

republicans have to be squeaky clean because they are expected to be. they must be articulate because so many of our candidates in the past have not been, and well, we all know how GWB was about less govt. i haven’t seen the GOP candidate that can do all that yet. it’s not sanford (not a lot of charisma and this disappearing act isn’t good) palin (more of a joke now on the national stage) or jindal (again with the speaking on a national level ) and no one in congress seems to want less govt. isn’t there someone else out there who can go toe to toe with obama?

the whole problem is the dems send in thier best teams of smarmy hacks, and the pubbies can’t do that because the best are usally running a buisness or 2 or 3.

... because republicans are just too damn clean and hardworking for their own good.

time to throw my support to haley barbour, i guess.

now there's a ringing endorsement.

frankly, i am so sick and tired of the ridiculous standards that somehow must apply to our candidates/leaders, when nowhere near the scrutiny comes to those on the other side. we have too many on OUR side who have bought into this bs. i would just as soon have the truck driver at the local bar become president or senator, because we would likely get better leadership from someone like that. and to all romney supporters, go stick it.

here's an novel idea: next time try nominating somebody you'd rather have a beer with ...

this is way beyond something where the media latches on to a misstep or a family member or a misspeaking of a word. this is about strange internal demons and being out of touch with reality. i think this was his way of telling us that he didn't want to go any further in leadership.

admittedly, he could have finessed the rollout a little better.

doesn’t rule out palin at all! sarah 2012!!!

i seriously am feeling sick. i am very depressed. fieldmarshaldj had me look at sanford and i actually did and really like him. this is so disappointing. i sincerely am sorry fieldmarshaldj for this...seriously!!!

well good old fieldmarshal spent the morning villainizing those of us with the temerity to question sanford when there was a distinct whiff of adultery in the air. ready to apology fieldmarshal?

"fieldmarshalj" responds:

he let a lot of us down, and seeing the spectacle on tv... just very sad. i spent this entire morning defending the man to the hilt and hearing what is pouring out of his mouth... no words.

so is jindal the one i have to default to for ‘12 now? at this rate we're gonna be defaulting to some unknown state senator.

and the guy didn’t even buy american. sorry, but this guy is half a bubble off. getting on the plane for nooky? make me sick.

well, another one of sarah’s oppnents goes down the tubers. next, we find out that mitt’s hairpiece is phony. jesus, they’re falling like tenpins. no. this is really pathetic. especially watching him hide behind the bible. you don’t go into republican politics if you can’t hide john thomas in your pants. you don’t cheat on the mrs. you just don’t. if you do, the D’s will find out about it and kill you. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. so, i wonder how much rahm paid the girl to flip on him?

this should end all the speculation

formerly awol south carolina governor mark sanford:

sanford, in an exclusive interview with the state media company, said he decided at the last minute to go to the south american country to recharge after a difficult legislative session in which he battled with lawmakers over how to spend federal stimulus money. ... sanford said he was alone on the trip. he declined to give any additional details about what he did other than to say he drove along the coastline. ... when asked why his staff said he was on the appalachian trail, sanford replied, "i don't know." sanford later said "in fairness to his staff," he had told them he might go hiking on the appalachian trial. ... "i don't know how this thing got blown out of proportion," sanford said. sanford said he has taken adventure trips for years to unwind.

and from abc news:

abc’s joe goldman reports that a us embassy official in buenos aires tells him that the embassy had "absolutely no idea" that sanford was in argentina. the embassy official added that this comes "from out of left field -- it would be extremely odd that a us governor would not check in with the embassy."

us governor missing for a week. no wife, no kids, no security, no staff — who say he's hiking appalachia. he returns on a jet from argentina. no harm, no foul.

is it irresponsible to speculate? it would be irresponsible not to.

take it away, folks ...

@ john cole's balloon juice:

this is 798 different kinds of awesome. the spin that comes out of this should be framed and put into the smithsonian. this is going to be so damned funny.

i'm beginning to think now that he did have a blowup with his wife, she told him to GTFO, father's day or no father's day, and he did. staffer a: "she told him to take a fucking hike. what the hell do we say to the press?" staffer b: "charlie, you're a genius! that's exactly what we'll say!"

packing for hiking the appalachian trail in summer and visiting argentina in winter are not exactly similar.

who's paying for this trip? didn't he refuse to accept stimulus money on the basis that it would hurt sc's fiscal situation?

eliot spitzer (under pressure from many, including democrats) resigned for less.

i'd like to post something witty and insightful on this topic, but my brain is hung up on "wait, what?"

@ josh marshall's tpmmuckraker:

mistress had an abortion ... know [sic] doubt.

google 'sex tourism "buenos aires" ' and you will learn such fun facts as, "in fact, buenos aires is gradually becoming one of the most notoriously popular destinations for sex tourism."

so this is how the governor is burnishing his foreign policy bonafides for when he runs for president...

things that will now be funny to hear sanford talk about: importance of traditional family values. honesty fiscal responsibility accountability importance of sealing the southern borders.

i hear that the buenos aires airport bathrooms have nice stalls.

he told his staff he was "spiking some argentina tail," and they HEARD "hiking the appalachian trail". easy mistake to make.

@govsanford: went down to south america had a hard time sneaking back into the states. now i know how all those illegals from mexico feel.

i think he fathered a lovechild on one of his previous visits and the woman demanded that he spend father's day with little marco or else she would spill the beans.

those 'mystery solved' headlines from monday evening are looking pretty prescient, right?

scratch that 3 am test

remember the "3 a.m. test?"

it’s 3 am and your children are safe and asleep but there’s a phone in the white house and it’s ringing something’s happening in the world your vote will decide who answers that call ...

well, the phone in the south carolina governor's mansion has been ringing for four-going-on-five straight days now, including father's day weekend.

if the 3 a.m. test wasn't just campaign rhetoric — and it looks like still-awol mark sanford's proving it wasn't — i guess it's safe to add him to the weekly growing list of aborted republican 2012 presidential hopefuls:

the office of the lieutenant governor, andre bauer, is now telling reporters that the governor's office says it's reached sanford and that he's fine. (bauer would take over the governor's duties in an emergency.) but here's the thing: the governor's staff himself doesn't seem willing to confirm that directly to the press. ... in neither of these statements is sanford's office saying that they've been in touch with him. indeed, the clear implication is that they haven't been, or presumably they'd say they have. in fact, it's unclear how closely the office even knows the guv's whereabouts. if it did, why the need to track his cellphone location? and if he told his office, why didn't he tell his wife?

capture the flag

democratic candidate for georgia governor general david poythress launches his offensive against the republican secessionists:

for years, georgia's 8th grade students read in their history books about our state's decision to secede from the united states back in 1861. today, our students need only look at a daily newspaper to see that talk of secession isn't just a thing of the past. in fact, four of the six republican candidates said they would support georgia seceding from the united states of america. this is outrageous. this is absolutely disgraceful. it's a slap in the face to every patriotic american, to anybody who has served under the american flag and to those brave georgians who have fought and died for our country in iraq. what really offends me the most, is that none of these republican secession candidates ever wore, for a single day, the uniform of our country, carried a weapon, or heard a shot fired in anger. not one ever put their life on the line to protect our freedoms and liberty. but they recklessly call for secession from america. they would in effect, ban the american flag and end the pledge of allegiance. they would say to the world that when they don't get their way, they quit. that's just childish. that's cowardice, not leadership. real leadership means we work toward common sense solutions to protect american values, not just quit our country because we don't agree with other americans. united we stand. divided we fall. know this: when i'm the governor of georgia, i won't cut and run from america. when i say the pledge of allegiance, i mean it.

whether poythress has taken the hill is up to the people of georgia, but a good opening for a counterattack, if patriotism is an issue, is very hard to see. this race might be worth watching.

not just obama (expanded)

with the tragically lengthening string of killings of public servants bringing the predicted resurgence in right-wing violence into sharp focus, both digby and the booman ponder its apparently cyclical nature:

digby: were unbalanced people driven to act by all the crazy talk about clinton? are unbalanced people being so moved by obama’s rise today? by crazy and semi-crazy talk about him? von brunn, who killed a decent person, apparently believed obama isn’t a citizen. but then, corder and duran may well have thought that clinton kept murdering people. not to mention his drug-dealing ways!

booman: ever since the modern GOP started taking shape during the mccarthy era, i cannot think of a time except the beginning of the carter administration, when the democrats have been control of everything and the right didn't start acting crazy.

as someone who's recently made something of a hobby following right-wing narratives about the crooked kenyan usurper, i think part of the right-wing propensity to shoot up the joint during democratic administrations can be attributed to their deeply-held and sincere belief that only conservatives are fit to lead and that only an lazy and ignorant public could ever vote otherwise.

why do urban centers vote democrat, and rural republican? urban = those who get money from the government for sitting on their butts. rural or suburban = those who actually produce and have money confiscated by the government to give to the urban population so they will vote for the liberals who gave it to them.

because urban folk think meat comes out of a plastic wrapper. think about it.

if black voters voted like normal americans, that wouldn't be the case.

it's not just obama who's illegitimate; liberals as a class have never been legitimate.

liberals and anybody else who aren't conservative are only second-class citizens, while conservatives only ever lose their place at the helm through the treachery and outright thuggery of the left.

it's an evolution of patronage and the subversion of the system at the ward level which is the historic province of the democratic party. the democrats have always had a less-than-stellar respect for the franchise. they treat it as a form of currency, to be controlled and doled out to those they favor. this evolved throughout the 20th century with the largesse-campaign-vote cycle that centered around welfare. they buy votes with money in the form of 'entitlements'. it is a simple and odious evolution of patronage since it makes the patron the master and the voter into a slave. democrats buy votes with threats of mob agitation and promises of free lunch. of course, throwing in a bit of class envy for all to indulge in as they indoctrinate their starving audience in class warfare is just considered 'light' entertainment. in short, the cities vote democrat because the people there have either been bribed, been titillated with hate, been bought outright, or have been told they have no hope but the party. actually, now that i've summarized it - i am struck with the hideous, precise evil of it all.

any "conservative" thought to be helping liberals obviously was never a true conservative to begin with.

we already knew what george HW bush was, and that is Not a True Conservative and Not a True Republican.

and anyone who discredits conservatives can only be a liberal.

please. help me out here. is president [george W] bush really so vane and worried about his own legacy that he won't do what is right or will he go down as the last great liberal to let the supreme court decide america's fate.

bring it on lurkers and moonbats........... james von BRUNN. LIBERAL assassin, SOCIALIST, COMMUNIST, MOONBAT al Qaeda supporter born in amarica, american hater.

(von brunn might not appreciate the irony of being branded a ni**er by his erstwhile fellow freepers after shooting a couple ...)

since america is a free country, liberals are allowed to live here, but america will remain a free country only as long as they are never free to run it, because to ever allow them to exercise any real hold on power is to invite civil suicide ...

. . .it is nonetheless incumbent on us to recognize that, where they would obstruct policies and practices that shore up the freedom and security of america’s citizens, liberal democrats are no less dangerous to the freedom that we continue to enjoy than are islamist terrorists.

... therefore any means that can be used to break that hold is justifiable and necessary. keeping the world safe for conservatives is every conservative's patriotic duty as a citizen.

certifigate: a birther miscarriage

of the many ongoing heart-wrenching travesties of the certifigate drama, almost worse than birthers' failure to keep the kenyan usurper from stealing the election or boot him out of office, is the silence kept by a-list conservative movers, shakers and talkers on this excruciating constitutional crisis:

although i've heard explanation after explanation as to why there's a TOTAL CONSERVATIVE BLACKOUT of this topic, i still am not satisfied with their reasoning. just why in the hell are rush, hannity, beck, coulter, malkin, FoxNews, DrudgeReport, (and you fill in the blank) REFUSING TO DISCUSS THIS? what's in it for them? what in the hell are they afraid of? it's a total BLACKOUT. incomprehensible that not even ONE OF THEM HAS TOUCHED THIS TOPIC. this is disgusting!!!!!!!!!!! the guy is a muslim, kenyan born, illegal alien, doesn't even have a selective service number, is commander-in-chief of our armed forces, is sitting in the white house, bowing to our enemies, making a fool out of our constitution, trashing our country, and on and on and on. and NOT ONE WORD FROM ANYONE THAT WE'VE BEEN RELYING ON ALL THESE YEARS ... ONLY FREEREPUBLIC. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON????????

those few that have spoken up thus far have chosen to drink the obama-aid:

bill o'reilly, fox news:

steven, troy il: why haven't you or the media addressed the questions regarding obama's birthplace and birth certificate? steven. steven, steven, steven ... how many times do i have to do it? how many times? i've already adressed it, many, many times. the birth certifigate is legal. he was born in hawaii. we have a copy of it. unless there is a masive fraud in the state of hawaii, which i couldn't prove, he's legal.

sean hannity, fox news:

now, the only thing, i don't know about the comment about god. but -- and he is an american, as far as we know, in spite of that birth certificate controversy, but we believe he is. so we've got to put those issues aside.

michelle malkin, national review:

i believe trig was born to sarah palin. i believe barack obama was born in hawaii on u.s. soil. i believe fire can melt steel and that bin laden's jihadi crew -- not bush and cheney -- perpetrated mass murder on 9/11. what kind of kooky conspiracist does that make me?

the traitorous repudiation and cowardly silence of mainstream wingnuts has deprived birthers of a vital source of validation that the right-wing noise machine has provided for twenty years.

until today, that is.

for reasons i'm sure we'll never know, after months of criminal silence, lord limbaugh, official crack supplier of what remains of the conservative movement, finally came out, on air, as a born again birther:

... obama does have something in common with god ... god doesn’t have a birth certificate either!

and there was much rejoicing in the land of the free:

WOOOOO HOOOO !!! thank you, rush!!!

i don't believe what i have just heard. thank you rush.

rush is flat out on fire......air tankes ain’t gonna control this fire

he mentioned the birth certificate 3 times already! maybe someone’s going to finally open up some worms.

man, i think rush is FED UP with the CRAP this loser and administration are doing to this country and he’s gonna FINALLY get this ball rolling! FOUR times so far in the last half hour?! how can any of those rush haters avoid this? this is like sticking a fresh slab of bloody meat in front of a den of lions!

THERE HE GOES AGAIN!! HOLY COW!! he’s gonna get this in the news for sure!!

the problem, of course, with opening up some worms and fresh slabs of bloody meat is that one never quite knows what one will catch:

associated press: an 88-year-old gunman with a violent and virulently anti-semitic past opened fire with a rifle inside the crowded u.s. holocaust memorial museum on wednesday, fatally wounding a security guard before being shot himself by other officers, authorities said.

talking points memo: he also wrote an internet posting complaining that obama's birth certificate and other documents have not been made public.

while i can't see more than a coincidental link between rush's bellyflop into the deep end of the birther cesspool and this shooting, his timing couldn't have been worse, and he knows it, as fox news' own shepard smith — one of their saner anchors — explains:

smith:	i read a lot of email around here. and the email, to me, has become more and more frightening. it's not a new thing, it's been happening over the past few months. it's been happening, y'know, to some degree, since the election process went along. i mean, we had a woman, we had a black man, he had y'know a lot going on. and there are people now who are way out there on a limb and i think they're just way out there on a limb with the email that they send us. 'cause i read it and they are out there. i mean out there in a scary place. i'm gonna read to you a little bit, from one, and i'm not gonna read the name, but this is, i promise, a representative sample of the kinds of things that we get here: shepard, how dare you tell us to get over obama not being a u.s. citizen? where is the birth certificate? where? he won't show it so why are you so trumped up to believe it? i cannot stand hussein! he is a socialist marxist who is at fast rate destroying our country. if you're one who believes that abortion is murder, at what point do you go out and kill someone whose performing abortions? well, i think we just learned from the killer of dr. tiller. if you're someone who believes these sorts of things about the president of the united states — and i could read a hundred of them like this! —
guest:	thousands.
smith:	i mean from today! people who are so amped up and so angry for reasons that are absolutely wrong, ridiculous, preposterous! yet they are mad, and they're very mad that i just called it preposterous.
guest:	well, if anybody wants to, to know the level of anger or, or whatever you want to call it, crazy, just take a spin around the blogs out there and on the internet, and just take half an hour, and go through, and randomly see what is being said, um, it is, um, frightening on a lot of different levels. and part of the problem, i think, is that they're feeding each other.
smith:	they are.
guest:	people are not going out there and, and ...
smith:	that's right. there on websites, the same people feeding each other fact, um, hate, that's not based in fact. and it's ginning itself up and i think if that's what you want to do with your time then that's what you do. but more and more it seems like people are taking the extra step of getting a gun out and ...

shep knows, as well as lord limbaugh's promoters, advertisers and sponsors, that email boxes and phone lines at msnbcbsabcnnfox will be clogging up at triple-rate after today. and that can't make them happy.

this is the reason, i suspect, rush waited so long. there have been no new revelations vindicating the birthers, so he obviously wasn't waiting for evidence. no, rush always knew the birthers are, as fellow conservative gasbag michael medved put it:

crazy, nutburger, demagogue, money-hungry, exploitative, irresponsible, filthy conservative imposters

... and rush knew there was a risk of certifigate spiraling out of his control, and he doesn't want to deal with their brand of headache. because, if you've got his megaphone and his money and you believe the president is a fraud, why wouldn't you shout it to the rooftops every hour of every day? and i'm sure rush does not want to talk about this every hour of every day.

but the birthers will demand that kind of commitment and will never be satisfied with anything less. this is one of those rare times when limbaugh's gonna wish he'd kept his drug-addled big fat idiot mouth shut.

certifigate: the docket

the score: 53 cases, 0 wins (i know, whatta surprise!), 37 denials or dismissals, 1 judgment against and 6 proposed bills, 3 dead. however, rep. bill posey (r-fl) no longer fights alone — his eligibility bill h.r. 1503 gained its first co-sponsor, rep. bob goodlatte (r-va).

new to this month's docket are the self-styled "citizen grand juries" metastasizing around the country, which hope they can find a prosecutor silly enough to file their monopoly-money "indictments" against obama. maybe if they add a ham sandwich as a co-defendant ...

to quote one jury supporter:

so, one person actually voted no out of 26. what good is joining in a grand jury if one is not serious enough to see all the evidence against BO and they foolishly voted no? i think that person was wasting their own time and the time of the grand jury.

SUMMARY Changes since last update (May 3)
Events	Current	Previous	Change
Lawsuits Known	53	48	+5
Lawsuits Dismissed/Denied	37	35	+2
Judgments For	0	0	0
Judgments Against	1	1	0
Bills Known	6	6	0
Bills Signed	0	0	0
Bills Failed	3	3	0
"Citizen Juries" Known	10	4	+6
"Citizen Juries" Indictments Issued	11	2	+9
"Citizen Juries" Indictments Prosecuted	0	0	0

BIRTHER LAWSUITS Challenges to Obama's qualifications
Case	Court	S/F	Status	Notes	Next Event
Ankeny v Daniels et McCain	IN	S	Dismissed	Article AG Letter Motion DIS Memo Motion OP Article
Berg v Obama et al	PA Eastern	F	Dismissed	Documents
	3rd Circuit Appeals	F	Filed	Brief FEC Brief O DNC
	SCOTUS	F	Denied
Berg v Obama	DC District	F	Filed, Sealed	Docket Listing
Brockhausen v Andrade	TX	S	Dismissed	Complaint Articles
Broe v Reed	WA Supreme	S	Dismissed	Article Order
Church of Jesus Christ Christian Aryan Nations of Missouri et al v Obama et al	MO West	F	Filed, Sealed	Complaint Article
Cohen v Obama	DC District	F	Dismissed	Prisoner Memo
Connerat v Browning	FL	S	Dismissed	Articles
Connerat v Obama	FL	S	Dismissed	Article
Corbett v Bowen et al	CA	S	Filed	Summary Notes
Craig v US	OK West	S	Judgment for Defendant	Complaint Order
	10th Circuit Appeals	F	Filed
Donofrio v Wells	NJ	S	Dismissed
	NJ Supreme	S	Denied
	SCOTUS	F	Denied	Application
Ealey v Obama	TX Houston	F	Dismissed	Complaint
Essek v Obama	KY Eastern	F	Dismissed	Order
Gleeson v McDonald et al	CA Southern	S	Filed
Gopalan v Obama III et al	CA Southern	F	Filed	Complaint
Greenberg v Brunner	OH	S	Dismissed with Court Costs	Outline Article
Hamblin v Obama & McCain	Arizona District	F	Filed	Complaint Docket Listing
Herbert v Obama et al	FL Middle	F	Dismissed	Complaint Report Order Article
Hollister v Soetoro	DC	F	Dismissed with Reprimand	Article Complaint Amend1 O Motion Order B Motion Op Order SC Order Disch B Response B Rejoin B Pro Hac O Reply Memorandum Order Reprimand
	DC Appeals	F	Filed		Jun 10
Hunter v Obama	SCOTUS	F	Dismissed	Article and Order
Judy v McCain et RNC	NV District	F	Dismissed
Kerchner et al v Obama et al	NJ	F	Filed	Article Article Amend 1 Amend 2	Jun 21
Keyes v Bowen	CA Superior	S	Dismissed	Petition Quash QuashPA QuashD Article Prelim Ruling
Keyes v Lingle	HI	S	Dismissed	Dismissal Recon Dism Article
Keyes et al v Obama et al	CA Central	F	Filed	Article Complaint	Jun 12
Lightfoot v Bowen	SCOTUS	F	Denied	Articles
Marquis v Reed	WA	S	Dismissed	Press Release Notes
Martin v Lingle	HI	S	Dismissed	Articles
Morrow v Obama	FL District	F	Dismissed	Prisoner Complaint Order
Neal v Brunner	OH	S	Dismissed	Notes Article
Neely v Obama	MI Eastern	F	Dismissed	Complaint
Roy v Obama	HI	F	Dismissed	Complaint Order
Schneller v Cortes	PA Supreme	S	Denied	Summary
	SCOTUS	F	Filed	Docket Listing	Jun 18
Stamper v US	OH District	F	Dismissed	Complaint Article, Order and Memo
Strunk 29641-08	NY Supreme	S	Filed	Notes
Strunk 29642-08	NY Supreme	S	Filed	Notes
Strunk 08-cv-4289	NY Eastern	F	Dismissed with Prejudice	Notes
	NY 2nd Circuit Appeals	F	Denied	Notes
Strunk v US Dept of State	DC	F	Filed	FOIA Response Motion Op Motion Dis Def Answer
Sullivan v Marshall	NC	S	Dismissed	Articles
Terry v Handel	GA	S	Dismissed with Prejudice	Order Appeal Article
Thomas et al v Hosemann	MS Southern	F	Dismissed with Prejudice	Article Order
Welch v Mukasey et al	NY	F	Dismissed
Wrotnowski v Bysiewicz	CT	S	Dismissed	Order
	SCOTUS	F	Denied	Article
"s/f" = state/federal. "article" = published non-judicial comment. "official" = plaintiff is suing the president in his official capacity. "prisoner" = plaintiff is in prison suing the president in his official capacity. see also the right side of life eligibility lawsuits page. see also free republic list of cases. compiled from dr. conspiracy's obama conspiracy theories docket project.

BIRTHER BILLS Requiring presidential candidates submit proof of qualification
Bill	Legislature	Sponsor(s)	Status	Notes
HR 1503	Congress	Bill Posey, Rep, R-FL Bob Goodlatte, Rep, R-VA	Refer'd to Hse	Bill Article Article
SB 474	MT	Aubyn Curtiss, Sen, R	Tabled	Bill Article
HB 1329	OK	Mike Ritze, Rep, R	Failed	Amend1 Amend2 Article Article Article
SB 1158	AZ	Russell Pearce, Sen, R Judy Burges, Rep, R Pamela Gorman, Sen, R Ron Gould, Sen, R Chuck Gray, Sen, R Jack Harper, Sen, R Thayer Verschoor, Sen, R Carl Seel, Rep, R	Read	Bill Article
HJR 34	MO	Robert Cooper, Rep, R Bob Nance, Rep, R Brian Nieves, Rep, R Cynthia Davis, Rep, R Dan Brown, Rep, R Don Wells, Rep, R Doug Ervin, Rep, R Doug Funderburk, Rep, R Dwight Scharnhorst, Rep, R Jason Brown, Rep, R Mike Lair, Rep, R Mike McGhee, Rep, R Rick Stream, Rep, R Shane Schoeller, Rep, R Walt Bivins, Rep, R	Withdrawn	Bill Article
HB 835	TX	Sid Miller, Rep, R	Filed	Bill Article

BIRTHER "GRAND JURIES" Meetings held to issue "indictments" against Obama
Group	Status	Charges	Notes
American Grand Jury (Online)	Indictments Issued (5)	Fraud, Treason	Website
Common Law Citizens Grand Jury (AZ)	Recruiting		Article
Arkansas Grand Jury	Indictments Issued	Fraud, Treason	Article
Common Law Grand Jury (GA)	Indictments Issued	Fraud, Conspiracy	Article
Illinois Grand Jury	Indictments Issued	Fraud, Treason	Article
North Carolina Grand Jury	Indictments Issued	Fraud, Treason	Article
Ohio Grand Jury	Indictments Issued	Fraud, Treason	Article
Rhode Island Grand Jury	Recruiting		Article
Tennessee Grand Jury	Recruiting		Article
Lone Star Grand Jury (TX)	Indictments Issued	Fraud, Treason	Article

the proper time and place

... for astounding hypocrisy.

yesterday, conservative commentator michelle malkin on the murder of dr. george tiller:

president obama is right about this: "however profound our differences as americans over difficult issues such as abortion, they cannot be resolved by heinous acts of violence." unfortunately, some are not content to leave it at that for now. they fail to respect that there is a proper time and place to indulge in political battle. ... tiller's family is grieving. those who have jumped to score political points before tiller is even buried are no better than the phelps family thugs of the "westboro baptist church" who respect no bounds of civility. unfortunately, it's too much to ask the cable news networks and hyper-partisan snipers on the internet to have the decency to restrain themselves. prepare for a wall-to-wall onslaught of gleeful finger-pointing on the left and heated responses on the right.

today, conservative commentator michelle malkin on this morning's murder of a military recruiter and wounding of another:

i wonder if the justice department will send marshals to beef up protection at recruiting centers — especially given the past targeting of military centers on campuses and elsewhere across the country. too early to say anything about suspect, motives, etc. but these facts are worth bearing in mind: flashback: special report: tracing the left's escalating war on military recruiters flashback: the continuing war on recruiters that the left doesn't want to talk about flashback: document drop: unclassified memo warns military personnel of anti-war threats to recruiters, army installations/facilities flashback: bastards: vandals strike at berkeley marine recruiting center again ... posted in: they don't support the troops, veterans

don't bother door

one of the advantages of the internet over pre-internet information gathering and dissemination is speed. it's often tedious and expensive to collect, publish, maintain and update any sizable body of knowledge. by allowing everyone to participate in the fun and allowing the always vaster number of information consumers to join or even supplant the always limited number of producers, not only does the internet allow daunting databases to be built much faster than before, it allows databases of esoteric knowledge that might never exist for lack of a profit model to be built by dedicated followers.

but one of the obvious disadvantages of this new production model is the swamping of the expertise and professionalism of small self-selected credentialed organizations by the amateurism and even mischief and malfeasance that large anonymous pools of contributors can be susceptible to. if information spreads faster on the internet, so does misinformation and disinformation and if it's always been true that a lie travels around the world in the time it takes the truth to put on its shoes, then the truth is just barely catching up.

these are neither novel nor profound observations but nowhere are they better illustrated than in online lyric databases. the amount of data involved has the disadvantage of being enormously vast while the pool of experts and standards has the disadvantage of being completely nonexistent while the task of collecting it has the disadvantage of being utterly profitless, making the area an ideal medium for error and garbage.

if there's one thing that's plainly obvious when browsing lyrics sites, it's that they swipe their entries from each other, mistakes and all. since there's no profit, there's no incentive for independent research, and since the sites don't own the data, they won't sue each other for infringement. if one site has an incorrect entry, they all have it:

lovin' spoonful — coconut grove lyrics it's really true how nothin matters. no mad, mad world and no mad hatters. no one's pitchin cause their ain't no batters in coconut grove. don't bother door. theirs no one comin. the oceans roar, were double drummin. of many silly thoughts and silly ways the ocean breeze has cooled my mind. the salty days are her's and mine just to do what we anna

the lovely and haunting coconut grove does not suffer from slurred vocals. john sebastian was no michael stipe yet the song's entry is not only riddled with absurd errors, but is also inexplicably incomplete. thankfully, former van halen frontman david lee roth covered the song, which somehow earned him an entry with more accurate lyrics:

david lee roth — coconut grove lyrics it's really true how nothin' matters no mad, mad world and no mad hatters noone's pitchin' cause there ain't no batters in coconut groove don't bar the door, there's no one comin' the ocean's roar will dull the drummin' of any city thoughts and city ways the ocean breezes cool my mind the salty days are hers and mine to do what we wanna tonight we'll find a dune that's ours and softly she will speak the stars until sunup it's all from havin' someone knowin' just which way your head is goin' who's always warm, like in the mornin' in coconut groove

but even roth's version diverges from the original complete lovin' spoonful rendition, in verse 5:

coconut grove by lovin' spoonful it's really true how nothing matters no mad mad world and no mad hatters no one's pitching 'cause there ain't no batters in coconut grove don't bar the door, there's no one coming the ocean's roar will dull the drumming of any city thoughts and city ways the ocean breezes cool my mind the salty days are hers and mine just to do what we want to tonight we'll find a dune that's ours and softly she will speak the stars until sunup it's all from having someone knowing just which way your head is blowing who's always warm, like in the morning in coconut grove the ocean breezes cool my mind the salty days are hers and mine just to do what we want to tonight we'll find a dune that's ours and softly she will speak the stars until sunup it's really true how nothing matters no mad mad world and no mad hatters no one's pitching 'cause there ain't no batters in coconut grove

the internet's great, but sometimes you still gotta do some things yourself.

there goes the female vote

first, of course, it was the hispanics. but you knew the ladies were not long behind, didn't you?

from unreconstituted watergate ghoul and all-around professional creep g. gordon liddy:

let's hope that the key conferences aren't when [sotomayor's] menstruating or something, or just before she's going to menstruate. that would really be bad. lord knows what we would get then.

looks like they've whittled themselves down to the cranky old bald white guy vote now. and they've already lost jesse.

stay classy, gop.

update: gallup and quinnipiac break down the numbers ...

attitudes towards sotomayor nomination
Gallup	D men	D women	R men	R women
excellent/good	65%	70%	19%	33%
only fair/poor	20%	16%	63%	43%
NET	46%	54%	-44%	-11%
Quinnipiac	D men	D women	R men	R women
approve	79%	80%	18%	31%
disapprove	5%	4%	57%	40%
NET	74%	76%	-39%	-9%

looks like the daughters of the revolution aren't quite in the mood for the 24/7 republican hate fest. must be that time of the month.

quote of the day

from eric kleefield @ talkingpointsmemo:

rush limbaugh says that nominating sonia sotomayor to the supreme court is like appointing david duke. so why isn't he supporting her?

[rimshot]

certifigate: newsmakers

first, the setup.

it must have eaten a hole in his gut, waiting all the way until the very end of wednesday's white house presser, before les kinsolving of worldnetdaily could ask his burning question ...

kinsolving:	just one question concerning what the president said in his speech on thursday, and i quote, 'i ran for president promising transparency, and i meant what i said. this is why, whenever possible, we will make information available to the american people so they can make informed judgments and hold us accountable.' end of quote. do you remember that statement?
gibbs:	i can confirm that he said that.
kinsolving:	good. in consideration of this very good promise of transparency, why can't the president respond to the petition to requests of 400,000 american citizens by releasing a certified copy of his long-form birth certificate listing hospital ... [audience laughter] ... 400,000! ...
gibbs:	are you looking for the president's birth certificate?
kinsolving:	yes.
gibbs:	it's on the internet, lester. [audience laughter]
kinsolving:	[also laughing] no, no, no — the long form listing his hospital and physician.
gibbs:	[chuckling] lester, this question in many ways continues to astound me. the state of hawaii provided a copy with the seal of the president's birth. i know there are apparently at least 400,000 people [audience laughter] that continue to doubt the existence of and the certification by the state of hawaii of the president's birth there, but it's on the internet because we put it on the internet for each of those 400,000 to download. i certainly hope by the fourth year of our administration that we'll have dealt with this burgeoning birth controversy.

and now for the handoff:

with the dam of silence on the whole of the media finally broken, fox news wasted no time running with this exclusive bombshell:

and four months into president obama's term, the controversy surrounding his original birth certificate continues to dog his administration. the obama campaign, you will remember, posted a copy of what it said was the document on its website to try to dispel rumors that he is not an american citizen. but an online petition, calling for the release of what it described as "the president's complete birth certificate" with the hospital name, has almost 400,000 signatures. today, the president's press secretary was incredulous that the issue just won't go away ...

anyone else notice that fox political grapevine anchor bret baier forgets to mention who's "dogging" the administration or who's behind the petition drive?

not that it really matters, since online petitions are one of the few things worth less than a subprime mortgage, but as long as you were asking, this one comes from ...

... wait for it ...

... you guessed it ...

fox news wannabee worldnetdaily!

yes, that online right-wing tabloid exclusively devoted to pimping news about its favorite subject — itself and its owner and ceo joe farah — a joke of a journal that's second only to the parody news site the onion in its gift for just making shit up.

being one of the few places that the birthers can still call a home, wnd continues to bravely flog the eligibility nontroversy when no one else will.

last week farah called for donations for his new billboard campaign:

the electoral system has failed to satisfy lingering questions about barack obama's eligibility to serve as president. ... that's how joseph farah, editor and chief executive officer of WND, explains the petition he initiated several months ago that has collected nearly 400,000 names of americans demanding answers as to obama's elidibility as well as the outpouring of financial support for his new campaign to erect billboards around the country asking the simple question: "where's the birth certificate?" ... the first such sign to be posted under the 5-day-old campaign, a digital, electronic one, is up and online on highway 165 in ball, la. – the result of a donation by the owner. ... "as obama transforms this country from self-governing constitutional republic to one governed by a central ruling elite, the simple fact remains that no controlling legal authority has established that he is indeed a 'natural born citizen' as the constitution requires," farah said. "obama's promises of transparency have become a bad joke as he continues to hide simple, innocuous documents like his birth certificate and his student records." the idea behind the billboard campaign is to make sure obama cannot avoid this question any longer. he must be asked to produce it at every turn, farah says.

funny how farah seems to have conveniently forgotten that back in august 2008 his little scandal sheet examined obama's certificate and declared it the real mccoy:

a separate WND investigation into obama's birth certificate utilizing forgery experts also found the document to be authentic.

i guess amnesia must be one of the convenient side effects of fleecing the pockets of birthers.

there goes the hispanic vote

as lord limbaugh hands down his marching orders:

i doubt that sotomayor can be stopped. she should be. she is a horrible pick. she is the antithesis of a judge, by her own admission and in her own words. she has been overturned 80% by the supreme court. she may as well be on the ninth circus court of appeals, given all the time she’s overturned. she has been reprimanded by a truly strong hispanic judge, jose cabranes. she has been rebuked in writing by cabranes for opinions that she wrote that had no bearing on the constitutional issues before her in the case that was being decided. details on that coming up. but here is why, even though she may not be able to be stopped, here is why sonia sotomayor needs to be opposed by the republicans as far as they can take it, because the american people need to know who barack obama really is, and his choice of sonia sotomayor tells everybody, if we will tell the story of her, who he is.

barbed wire and plywood

what john said:

cnn just had james inhofe on talking about how we could not bring the gitmo folks to the states because they are too dangerous, and it reminded me of something that has been bothering me the last few days. there seems to be an effort to pretend that we chose to put these people in gitmo for security reasons. that is simply nonsense on stilts. it was little more than barbed-wire and plywood when we started detaining them there, and we had to build the damned place. we didn’t put the detainees there because it was super secure. we put them there so there would be no controlling legal authority and we could do whatever the hell we wanted with them. i’m really tired of people making things up.

deep thought

we have to keep them in guantanamo 'cause we can't hold them legally.

deep question

so when did "suspected terrorists" become the brotherhood of evil mutants?

how to talk about torture

and no, it has nothing to do with nancy pelosi or hillary clinton ...

hasselback:	what is your mind — i know your mind is, ah, pretty made up about waterboarding, correct? you were waterboarded part of, part of your navy seal training, correct?
ventura:	no, it wasn't part of navy seal training; it was part of what they call SERE school: survival, escape, resistance, evasion. it's, it's a school that they required you to go to prior to the combat zone in vietnam. and yes, we were all waterboarded there, and yes, it is torture.
hasselback:	what do you think about nancy pelosi in terms of what she has been claiming with the cia lying to and misleading congress ... ?
ventura:	i, i, what's worse is this: the fact that it happened. if, if we hadn't waterboarded to begin with, none of this would be a controversy, would it?
hasselback:	if we hadn't waterboarded ...
ventura:	and torture, wait — torture is torture. if you're going to be a country that follows the rule of law, which we are, torture is illegal.
hasselback:	but these were specifically approved techniques with ksm, okay ... ?
ventura:	approved by who ... ?
hasselback:	khalid sheik mohammed, the information we extracted from him before waterboarding was zip. afterward, he released the information ...
unidentifed:	no ...
ventura:	no, we got all of that before waterboarding.
unidentifed:	yes.
hasselback:	this was the case that was used three times ...
ventura:	the question is this: alright, wait a minute — if waterboarding is okay, then —
hasselback:	[to unidentified] do you want me to put you in a triple nelson?
ventura:	wait, wait, if waterboarding's okay, then why don't we let our police do it to suspects so that they can learn what they know?
	[applause]
hasselback:	i understand that question, i understand that question ...
ventura:	if waterboarding's okay, why didn't we waterboard mcveigh and nichols, the oklahoma city bombers, to find out if there were more people involved?
behar:	well, what's your answer to that? why didn't we? why didn't we?
ventura:	well, i don't know, but we only seem to waterboard muslims.
goldberg:	hmm ...
audience:	oohh ...
	[crosstalk]
ventura:	haa-ha, ha-ha! have we waterboarded anyone else? name me someone else we've waterboarded!
behar:	well, one of the things that's coming out now is that they were waterboarding them to get a connection between iraq and al qaeda. and that the reason they waterboarded was to get information out so they could justify the invasion of iraq.
hasselback:	what do you think is gonna happen now —
behar:	so how does that work into your theory of how great it is?
hasselback:	look, i'm not saying it's great. i'm not saying, okay everybody, let's all go next door and get waterboarded. i'm, i'm concerned right now about nancy pelosi, who was supposedly briefed on this thing —
goldberg:	she lied —
ventura:	okay, they want her out now, right? because she lied? well, why didn't they ask for bush, bush and cheney to go out when they lied about why we went into iraq?
	[applause]
hasselback:	senator clinton! senator clinton, hillary clinton was right there with them, as were many democrats ...
ventura:	the point is, nothing is gonna happen cause they're all involved. the dems and repubs are both involved. that's why president obama's backing off from it, and they're not gonna do it now. it's a good thing i'm not the president. i'm an independent. because i would prosecute the people who did it, i would prosecute the people who ordered it, and they would all go to jail.
	[applause]
hasselback:	well, wouldn't they prosecute president obama in the future going backwards when he ordered the killing of the somali pirates? i mean, you have to think about —
ventura:	no, because the somali pirates —
goldberg:	there's a lot of differences ...
ventura:	that's apples and oranges. you're not talking about someone in custody who is supposedly under — okay, how would we feel, look how outraged we were when waterboarding was done to our vets in vietnam. where do you think we learned that? and we created the hanoi hilton right in guantanamo. that's our hanoi hilton. people have died there, people are tortured there — i'm ashamed of my country.
hasselback:	people aren't basing all those, extremists are not basing their behaviors on us, i can guarantee that, they are —
ventura:	because — should we stoop to their level?
hasselback:	look, we have —
ventura:	no. we should be above that.
hasselback:	absolutely —
ventura:	torture is wrong.
	[applause]
hasselback:	torture is wrong, but enhanced interrogation is —
ventura:	"enhanced interrogation" is dick cheney changing a word. dick cheney comes up with a new word to cover his ass.
	[crosstalk]
goldberg:	new question! new question!
ventura:	i've said it before: you give me a waterboard, one hour and dick cheney and i'll have him confessing to the sharon tate murders.
unidentified:	yeah baby!
	[applause]

smith:

our chief fox report correspondent jonathan hunt is live with us. johnathan, republicans seemed to keep the pressure on the speaker throughout the weekend and certainly continuing into today.

hunt:

yes, absolutely, this is the political gift that keeps on giving for the republicans. instead of this debate being about national security, what is and isn’t torture, what the bush administration should and shouldn’t have allowed and whether anybody in that administration should now be prosecuted, they are, they, the republicans are now able to frame this debate as to whether nancy pelosi is fit to continue as speaker. so shep, they are not about to let their foot off the gas in any way, shape, or form right now.

b.y.o.b.*

more great civic proposals from the land of the free:

hamburgers, hot dogs, brats and guns at picnic onalaska, wis. — a picnic open to the public at a park in la crosse county will offer free brats and hamburgers and an invitation to bring your gun. organizer hubert hoffman said sunday's picnic at marvin gardens park in the town of onalaska celebrates a recent opinion from state attorney general j.b. van hollen that citizens who openly carry firearms should not be cited for disorderly conduct. hoffman said the picnic is open to everyone, including children and those who don't want to bring a gun. the gun rights advocate said it's a way to let the public know that openly carrying a firearm isn't dangerous or risky. la crosse county sheriff's capt. mike horstman said hoffman is "legally entitled" to host the open carry picnic.

come one, come all i hope this event has a HUGE turnout i am going to see if we can get our planting done early and try to attend it myself!

good for you guys. rights not exercised are in time, lost. in addition, the gun grabbers need to see that honest armed citizens are no threat to civility or public order. criminals are nowhere found where the risk outweighs any potential gain. in fact, i’ll wager that gathering will be the safest place in the state.

GRRRREAT post, lori. thanks.

---

* (bring your own beretta)

this was the co-pilot

... not the flight attendant.

shaw, 24, had worked for colgan air of manassas, va., which operated the flight for continental, for 13 months, flying 774 hours in her first year. colgan pays its beginning first officers $21 an hour, which means she would have earned $16,254 that year, although she could have earned more if she worked more hours, said roger cox, an ntsb aviation safety expert. in questioning colgan officials, cox suggested that shaw was commuting from her home near seattle because she couldn't afford to live in the new york metropolitan area on her salary. she had a second job in a coffee shop when first hired. — "pilots' low pay, long commutes probed in air crash" (ap)

just another american corporate cost-control success story, folks. the bodies have already been factored in.

what dick said

and, more importantly, what he didn't say ...

---

*mid-atlantic shredding services
  (see also: zelikow memo)

bait taken, i'd say

quote of the day from think progress:

i really think one afternoon, [obama senior advisor] david axelrod leaned back in his office chair and said, "i know, let's see if we can get all the republicans to denounce the concept of empathy."

president barack obama, on supreme court justice souter's prospective replacement:

i view that quality of empathy, of understanding and identifying with people's hopes and struggles as an essential ingredient for arriving at just decisions and outcomes. i will seek somebody who is dedicated to the rule of law, who honors our constitutional traditions, who respects the integrity of the judicial process and the appropriate limits of the judicial role.

utah senator orrin hatch:

well, it's a matter of great concern. if he's saying that he wants to pick people who will take sides, he has also said a judge has to be a person of empathy? what does that mean? usually that's a code word for an activist judge. but he also said that he's going to select judges on the basis of their personal politics, their personal feelings, their personal preferences. now, you know, those are all code words for an activist judge who is going to, you know, be partisan on the bench.

rnc chairman michael steele:

good morning y’all, we’re back in the house. we’re talking a little bit of constitution and a little bit supreme court. and a whole lot of saving america’s judicial system and saving our rights as citizens and not having empathetic judges decide cases, but rather judges who are actually understanding the rule of law and what the constitution and those laws are all about. and how to apply the facts to the law and the law to the facts. and adjudicate my case. i don’t need some judge sitting up there feeling bad for my opponent because of their life circumstances or their condition. and short changing me and my opportunity to get fair treatment under the law. crazy nonsense empathetic. i’ll give you empathy. empathize right on your behind. craziness.

update: bush attorney general alberto gonzales:

i do worry a little bit, well, i worry, i worry about about justices on the court making decisions based on what they think makes them feel good. i don’t think it’s fair to expect society to anticipate the outcome of a case based upon what makes a justice feel good. in essence what you’re saying, i think, is that i’m going to, i don’t care what the law says, i’m going to come out, i’m going to pursue an outcome that i think is fair and just. i’m going to rewrite the law. and i think that’s dangerous.

defections have consequences

the senate dealt a blow tonight to sen. arlen specter's hold on seniority in several key committees, a week after the pennsylvanian's party switch placed democrats on the precipice of a 60-seat majority. in a unanimous voice vote, the senate approved a resolution that added specter to the democratic side of the dais on the five committees on which he serves, an expected move that gives democrats larger margins on key panels such as judiciary and appropriations. but democrats placed specter in one of the two most junior slots on each of the five committees for the remainder of this congress, which goes through december 2010. democrats have suggested that they will consider revisiting specter's seniority claim at the committee level only after the midterm elections next year.

maybe arlen shouldn't have spent his first week as a democrat voting like a republican.

certifigate: the docket

the score: 48 cases, 0 wins (i know, whatta surprise!), 35 denials or dismissals, 1 judgment against and 6 proposed bills, 3 dead.

SUMMARY Changes since last update (Apr 2)
Events	Current	Previous	Change
Lawsuits Known	48	45	+3
Lawsuits Dismissed/Denied	35	34	+1
Judgments For	0	0	0
Judgments Against	1	0	+1
Bills Known	6	6	0
Bills Signed	0	0	0
Bills Failed	3	2	+1

BIRTHER LAWSUITS Challenges to Obama's qualifications
Case	Court	S/F	Status	Notes	Next Event
Ankeny v Daniels et McCain	IN	S	Dismissed	Article AG Letter Motion DIS Memo Motion OP Article
Berg v Obama et al	PA Eastern	F	Dismissed	Documents
	3rd Circuit Appeals	F	Filed	Brief FEC Brief O DNC
	SCOTUS	F	Denied
Berg v Obama	DC District	F	Filed, Sealed	Docket Listing
Brockhausen v Andrade	TX	S	Dismissed	Complaint Articles
Broe v Reed	WA Supreme	S	Dismissed	Article Order
Church of Jesus Christ Christian Aryan Nations of Missouri et al v Obama et al	MO West	F	Filed, Sealed	Complaint Article
Cohen v Obama	DC District	F	Dismissed	Prisoner Memo
Connerat v Browning	FL	S	Dismissed	Articles
Corbett v Bowen et al	CA	S	Filed	Summary Notes
Craig v US	OK West	S	Judgment for Defendant	Complaint Order
	10th Circuit Appeals	F	Filed
Donofrio v Wells	NJ	S	Dismissed
	NJ Supreme	S	Denied
	SCOTUS	F	Denied	Application
Essek v Obama	KY Eastern	F	Dismissed	Order
Gleeson v McDonald et al	ND	F	Filed	Official
Greenberg v Brunner	OH	S	Dismissed with Court Costs	Outline Article
Hamblin v Obama & McCain	Arizona District	F	Filed	Complaint Docket Listing
Herbert v Obama et al	FL Middle	F	Dismissed	Complaint Report Order
Hollister v Soetoro	DC	F	Dismissed with Reprimand	Article Complaint Amend1 O Motion Order B Motion Op Order SC Order Disch B Response B Rejoin B Pro Hac O Reply Memorandum Order Reprimand
Hunter v Obama	SCOTUS	F	Dismissed	Article and Order
Judy v McCain et RNC	NV District	F	Dismissed
Kerchner et al v Obama et al	NJ	F	Filed	Article Article Amend 1 Amend 2	May 5
Keyes v Bowen	CA Superior	S	Dismissed	Petition Quash QuashPA QuashD Article Prelim Ruling
Keyes v Lingle	HI	S	Dismissed	Dismissal Recon Dism Article
Keyes et al v Obama et al	CA Central	F	Filed	Article Complaint
Lightfoot v Bowen	SCOTUS	F	Denied	Articles
Morrow v Obama	FL District	F	Dismissed	Prisoner Complaint Order
Marquis v Reed	WA	S	Dismissed	Press Release Notes
Martin v Lingle	HI	S	Dismissed	Articles
Neal v Brunner	OH	S	Dismissed	Notes Article
Neely v Obama	MI Eastern	F	Dismissed	Complaint
Roy v Obama	HI	F	Dismissed	Complaint Order
Schneller v Cortes	PA Supreme	S	Denied	Summary
	SCOTUS	F	Filed	Docket Listing	May 18
Stamper v US	OH District	F	Dismissed	Complaint Article, Order and Memo
Strunk 29641-08	NY Supreme	S	Filed	Notes
Strunk 29642-08	NY Supreme	S	Filed	Notes
Strunk 08-cv-4289	NY Eastern	F	Dismissed with Prejudice	Notes
	NY 2nd Circuit Appeals	F	Denied	Notes
Strunk v US Dept of State	DC	F	Filed	FOIA Response Motion Op Motion Dis Def Answer	Jun 1
Sullivan v Marshall	NC	S	Dismissed	Articles
Terry v Handel	GA	S	Dismissed with Prejudice	Order Appeal Article
Thomas et al v Hosemann	MS Southern	F	Dismissed with Prejudice	Article Order
Welch v Mukasey et al	NY	F	Dismissed
Wrotnowski v Bysiewicz	CT	S	Dismissed	Order
	SCOTUS	F	Denied	Article
"s/f" = state/federal. "article" = published non-judicial comment. "official" = plaintiff is suing the president in his official capacity. "prisoner" = plaintiff is in prison suing the president in his official capacity. see also the right side of life eligibility lawsuits page. see also free republic list of cases. compiled from dr. conspiracy's obama conspiracy theories docket project.

BIRTHER BILLS Requiring presidential candidates submit proof of qualification
Bill	Legislature	Sponsor(s)	Status	Notes
HR 1503	Congress	Bill Posey, Rep, R-FL	Refer'd to Hse	Bill Article Article
SB 474	MT	Aubyn Curtiss, Sen, R	Tabled	Bill Article
HB 1329	OK	Mike Ritze, Rep, R	Failed	Amend1 Amend2 Article Article Article
SB 1158	AZ	Russell Pearce, Sen, R Judy Burges, Rep, R Pamela Gorman, Sen, R Ron Gould, Sen, R Chuck Gray, Sen, R Jack Harper, Sen, R Thayer Verschoor, Sen, R Carl Seel, Rep, R	Read	Bill Article
HJR 34	MO	Robert Cooper, Rep, R Bob Nance, Rep, R Brian Nieves, Rep, R Cynthia Davis, Rep, R Dan Brown, Rep, R Don Wells, Rep, R Doug Ervin, Rep, R Doug Funderburk, Rep, R Dwight Scharnhorst, Rep, R Jason Brown, Rep, R Mike Lair, Rep, R Mike McGhee, Rep, R Rick Stream, Rep, R Shane Schoeller, Rep, R Walt Bivins, Rep, R	Withdrawn	Bill Article
HB 835	TX	Sid Miller, Rep, R	Filed	Bill Article

THIS IS A GREAT DAY ...

... for the incredible shrinking party republicans!

rnc chairman michael steele:

and, y'know, the fact that he would say, uh, president obama's spending package, y'know, 780 billion dollars, and the stimulus, and the budget, made him realize he's a democrat ... well, if, if spending the, the hard-earned dollars of the american people and redistributing their wealth, ah, and, and moving towards a collectivist, uh, socialist, uh, approach to government, if that, if that, helps you realize you're a democrat, well, y'know, good riddance.

and the peanut gallery agrees!

this is a great day for the republican party! we have the RINOs running!

yep, the more we can cull away from the party those who are not committed to, understand, or have no liking for those goals, the better off we shall be.

i’ve always suspected that specter was a plant.

if he really switched party affiliation he’d now be a conservative!!!!

ridding ourselves of these RINO’s can only benefit us in rebuilding the party to where it should be.

we will go down this road with fewer but STRONGER people, if they get the message that is.

the actuarial tables are on our side ... at 79 years old he shouldn't be sucking in air too much longer he's a waste of CO2 credits.

... well, most agree.

we need to keep [minnesota senator-elect al] fraken [sic] out as long as possible. hopefully until the 2010 elections so we can get some of the 60 back into gop hands. 60 votes on the dhims means way too much of a loss to conservatives. things could possibly never get repaired.

WE are so close to losing it all....

great. we can have a senate with 70 to 75 democrats (considering what some people have been saying even inhofe is a RINO, so maybe that should be 100 Ds). then zero will pack the supreme court like FDR wanted to with 7 or 9 more justices, the heller case will be struck down, the 22nd amendment will be ruled unconstitutional, and we will live with bambi as pres for life. for all of specters faults, and they were many he helped clarence thomas get through, and voted with the reps at least 70% of the time. if we are goin to go for 100% purity, we will have to live in a permanant minority.

---

RINO = republican in name only; a moderate republican; a nearly extinct species

whom gods destroy

... they first drive mad.

a number of conservative members of the republican national committee are pressing the committee — and by extension, [rnc chairman michael] steele — to officially adopt the position that the democratic party is socialist. over a dozen members of the conservative wing of the RNC have submitted a new resolution, to be eventually voted on by the entire RNC, that would call on the democratic party to rename itself the "democrat socialist party." if the RNC adopts this resolution, the RNC’s official view would become that democrats are socialists. from the resolution: RESOLVED, that we the members of the republican national committee call on the democratic party to be truthful and honest with the american people by acknowledging that they have evolved from a party of tax and spend to a party of tax and nationalize and, therefore, should agree to rename themselves the democrat socialist party.

no one could have predicted ...

... that it could happen to me.

rep. jane harman (d-ca), proving that some of today's civil libertarians are just yesterday's neocons reeling from their own petard:

december 21, 2005:

i have been briefed since 2003 on a highly classified nsa foreign collection program that targeted al qaeda. i believe the program is essential to u.s. national security and that its disclosure has damaged critical intelligence capabilities ... like many americans, i am deeply concerned by reports that this program in fact goes far beyond the measures to target al qaeda about which i was briefed.

today:

i'm just very disappointed that my country — i'm an american citizen just like you are — could have permitted what i think is a gross abuse of power in recent years. i'm one member of congress who may be caught up in it, but i have a bully pulpit and i can fight back. i'm thinking about others who have no bully pulpit and may not be aware, as i was not, that right now somewhere, someone's listening in on their conversations, and they're innocent americans.

the new girl

even if the s.s. gop has opted to sulk in dry dock for the next four years, lord limbaugh can still count on the party to keep his cabin quarters supplied with freshly-spanked talent.

tax day, april 15th — kansas rep. todd tiahrt, when asked "by a kansas city star editorial board member whether limbaugh was now the de facto leader of the GOP."

no, no, he's just an entertainer.

four days later — tiahrt spokesman sam sackett tells the wichita eagle editorial board:

the congressman believes rush is a great leader of the conservative movement in america — not a party leader responsible for election losses ... nothing the congressman said diminished the role rush has played and continues to play in the conservative movement.

considering tiahrt's turnabout took longer than the customary 24 hours, it looks like experienced deck hands michael steele and phil gingrey have a new recruit to break in.

the handshake

what josh said:

they got issues we keep the chat shows running through the day at TPM HQ. and i've been listening to a constant stream — mainly but not only on fox — of talk through the day about whether we should feel weak or ashamed or tarnished or any other number of things because president obama had a friendly handshake with huge [sic] chavez of venezuela. the whole idea seems so deeply silly to me that it's hard to know how exactly to even comment on it. but i'm struck once again by the sort of psychologically arrested mentality and extreme emotional insecurity that seems at work in the minds of many foreign policy conservatives — or more specifically, so as not to paint with too broad a brush, those of the neo-conish flavor. sure, a lot of this is just political posturing — trying to sound the story out for possible political vulnerabilities on obama's part. throw a bunch of mud up against the wall and see what sticks. what's striking to me though is that a lot of it seems like a very genuine, gut-level emotional response. (a related example is what matt yglesias pointed out a few days ago — how many right-wingers seem to have convinced themselves that north korea, a borderline failed state on the possible brink of economic collapse somehow has the us over a barrel.) in the course of our normal lives, few of us have much difficulty identifying habits of defensiveness or a penchant for histrionic or petulant interactions as signs of weakness, not strength. really powerful people don't need stunts and usually signal their power by a certain graciousness and indifference in such interactions. they have nothing to prove. but american power, respect, command of public opinion — however you want to define it — must be in these people's minds an extremely brittle thing. they really do seem like extremely insecure people.

comical nonsense a bit of follow about on right-wing paranoia. i'm just watching andrea mitchell interview michael o'hanlon about whether president obama showed some sort of dangerous weakness in happily shaking hands with hugo chavez. mitchell played a clip of the always cartoonish newt gingrich and then noted that conservatives are drawing the analogy to john kennedy's famous meeting with nikita krushchev in the latter sized kennedy up as a lightweight and — so the argument goes — thus believed he could be pushed around during the cuban missile crisis. now, kruschev? really? i'm not sure i can imagine a better illustration of the sort of parodic paranoia i'm talking about. we do realize that the us has the most powerful military in the world and venezuela has little ability to project military power beyond its own borders. it's a non-entity militarily, even compared to iran and north korea. will he be emboldened into calling obama el diablo?

update:

the shocking truth fresh off our earlier national humiliation, we just received a note from TPM reader SR. and SR points out that in the second image of our obama at the summit of the americas slideshow we see president obama shaking hands with the dog of the president of mexico. he even seems a bit to be bowing to the dog.

tough times for teabaggers

the meme that keeps on giving: pundit david gergen mulls over republican woes, but cnn anchor anderson cooper gets to the nut of their problems ...

gergen:	... this happens to a minority party after it's lost a couple of bad elections. but they're searching for their voice.
cooper:	it's hard to talk when you're teabagging.
gergen:	[after a beat] hrruheh heh! heh! heh! heh! heh! heh ... !